


The Music of My Heart (Nickifer)

by SatanSpawnedNougat



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Creation of humankind, Cute Lucifer, Fluff, Fluff without Plot, Lucifer Feels, Lucifer loves Nick, M/M, Nick doesn't thinks he's good enough, Soulmates, The beginning of Nickifer, True Love, what is plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-23
Updated: 2019-04-23
Packaged: 2020-01-24 15:54:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18574714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SatanSpawnedNougat/pseuds/SatanSpawnedNougat
Summary: Love starts as a feeling, but to continue is a choice. And I find myself choosing you, more and more every day. I don't care who you are, if you successfully play the music of my heart, then I will love you.





	The Music of My Heart (Nickifer)

**Author's Note:**

> For the 'fluff' square of my Heaven & Hell Bingo Card and the 'soulmates' square of my Lucifer Bingo Card. Enjoy

Nick still remembered what started it all. One drunken night of many with empty whiskey and wine bottles littering the floor... and then an angel had found him. In a way, it was as unbelievable as it could get. All his life he had been a nobody, someone unimportant who always got overlooked and ignored by many. Yet in ways beyond his understanding, Lucifer had picked him to be his vessel. The fallen angel had told him that he was important and that a glorious purpose awaited him... just for Nick to learn that he was only temporary and for him to be tossed aside the moment Sam said 'yes' to his angel and took him away. He didn't even understand why _Sam_ was his true vessel... Sam, who only ended up betraying this beautiful being.

Lucifer did end up coming back to him, but Nick knew that it wasn't by choice, nor was he sure how the angel felt about it all. He had never found the courage to ask him. And what right did he had to ask Lucifer of anything?

He was an Archangel. The most beautiful, graceful and powerful entity Nick ever had the honor of meeting. Lucifer was a thousand arrows set loose at once, the birth of stars, and the drowning of the deepest oceans. And Nick was a mere human. A _nobody_.

"Nick, what's on your mind?" The angel asked him out of nowhere. He had just given a legion of demons some orders and they were alone now in the building Lucifer had claimed as his base. Nick could clearly sense the curiosity coming off his grace. It had taken him a while to be able to read Lucifer's emotions; he never showed them easily and an angel's grace was so different from everything he was used to.

"Nothing," Nick replied. They have had this conversation many times now, and Nick's answer was always the same. He just didn't want to be a bother to this beautiful being he had the honor of being the host of.

Yet this time, Lucifer didn't seem to buy it and pressed further. "You know you can tell me, right?" He asked.

Trying to pull his soul further away from the angel within their shared body, Nick stubbornly held on. "Don't worry about it, Luci. It's nothing."

"For something that is 'nothing', you seem to be quite upset about it," Lucifer pointed out, seeing right through him - like he always has. "Come on, Nick."

 _Why must he be so stubborn_? Nick thought, his soul pulsing. Just his luck, to be bound to an angel who was even more stubborn than he was. "Why?" Was the single word he managed to utter.

He was aware of Lucifer's confusion. "You would have to be a bit more specific than that..." the angel mused.

"Why am I your vessel? Why did you choose me? Why are you even still around?" Nick cried, letting out all his build-up questions and worries.

Abruptly, Lucifer pulled away from him. Not the reaction Nick had expected. "You..." he started to say and for once in his long immortal life, the Devil was at loss for words and felt close to crying, "you don't want me?"

A scream tore from Nick's soul as he vibrated wildly. Something which seemed to startle Lucifer for Nick could sense nothing but shock - and perhaps a flash of fear - come from him. "No, it's not that. It's just," a tiny noise came from him, "you are _you_ and I am _me_." He helplessly tried.

"What... what does that mean?" Lucifer asked him, honestly baffled about Nick's words and how he reacted.

"Lucifer, you are an _Archangel_ and I am _human_!" Nick cried out, feeling like tugging out all of his hair in frustration.

The angel snorted. "Yes, and I don't really see what that has to do with anything."

Nick felt like slamming his head through a wall. And he would have done so if he was the one in control of their body. But instead, Lucifer had them lounging in a big comfy chair, eyes half-closed as they were conversing with each other mentally. "You are an _Archangel_ ," Nick repeated himself stupidly, "you are beauty, and grace, and power. You are everything... and I am a nobody, especially compared to you. What am I to you, Lucifer?" He said. He was aware of Lucifer's horror at being asked that, yet Nick continued, knowing that if he didn't he would never be able to continue. Everything just came pouring out. "Why did you drop me like that when Sam said yes? Why did you tell me I was important when I was only temporary? _WHY_?!" He screamed out the last word, his emotions getting the best of him.

For the longest time, Lucifer stayed quiet, clearly not knowing how to react to any of that and new emotions took hold of Nick's heart. Fear.

 _Did I just screw everything up? Did I say too much_?

"Lucifer," Nick said helplessly. Yet he didn't know how to continue so he pathetically kept it at that.

"You don't think you are good enough for me?" Lucifer asked him slowly, choosing his words carefully as if he were walking on thin ice.

Nick didn't answer and kept his soul away from him, even when the angel tried to reach out to him. "What am I to you?" He asked again.

"I don't think I am able to tell you in words," Lucifer started and Nick felt like a knife got twisted around in his heart, "but I might be able to show you. If you'll let me."

That piqued Nick's interest. "How?"

"I can show you my memories, but only if you allow me to."

 _He's all about consent_ , Nick couldn't help but think. "Alright," he said aloud, giving Lucifer the permission to do whatever. Almost carefully, the angel's grace reached out towards him and wrapped around his soul. The iciness of Lucifer's being seeped into him, yet Nick didn't feel cold. It felt like the stars whirled around him and the fabric of reality got torn apart when Nick entered Lucifer's memories, the very depth of his being and the core of who he was behind all his walls and wits.

He saw some flashes as Lucifer guided him towards the specific memory he wanted him to see. Nick saw glimpses of Heaven, of Lucifer's family, his time in the cage and the loneliness which consumed him for so long, and they had arrived at which Lucifer wanted him to see. Nick didn't know when it was, except for that it was a very long time ago. Before humanity. Before Earth, even. He saw it through Lucifer's eyes - he became Lucifer - as he got sucked into the memories that flooded into his mind.

\+ +

_He was in a grand room in Heaven, waiting for his father who apparently wanted to show him something he had created. He seemed pretty excited about it, even called it his 'masterpiece', yet Lucifer had his doubts. He had created other things before and none of them really caught the angel's attention. He didn't saw how it would be different this time around._

_"Ah, there you are," his father's voice spoke._

_Lucifer spun around. "You did tell me to come here, Father," he said, ruffling up his pink wings. "What is it that you wanted to show me?"_

_"Yes, come this way, please," God said, starting to walk away and clearly expecting Lucifer to follow him. Which the angel did. "I have created this new species. Just finished, actually," he started to explain as they walked, Lucifer only partly listening to what he said, "and I think they are amazing. Really beautiful creatures. I gave them the power of song and creation, to name a few. You'll love them."_

_Finally, they reached the room where his father apparently kept those 'perfect creatures', and when they entered, Lucifer frowned at what he saw._

_Glowing orbs of light that were aimlessly floating around. They were like an angel's grace in a way, but different. They weren't immortal like angels were and instead were much more fragile. And they seemed rather chaotic to Lucifer contrary to how composed angels were. "What are those?!"_

_"I call them humans!" God chirped, unaware to his son's distaste in them. "Well... their souls actually. I have yet to give each of them a physical body. I plan on giving them Earth."_

_But Lucifer had already stopped listening to what he was saying, God had started rambling about the finer details and how exactly he managed to create them - but one of those souls, those 'humans', had managed to catch the Archangel's attention in such a way nothing else ever had. Tilting his head in curiosity, the angel went closer, not listening to his father's pleas to be careful with his creations._

_Reaching out his hand, the soul seemed to pulse in happiness and floated closer to him. Lucifer smiled. "What about this one?" He asked, liking the way how this particular soul glowed. In a way... it reminded him of himself. He wasn't sure why, but it just did._

_"That one?" God frowned. "Not much really. I basically made that one out of the leftovers. There is another one I would like to show you instead..."_

_Lucifer cut him off. "I don't care," he stubbornly said, "I want to know about this one. When do you plan on putting this one on Earth?" He wanted to know when they would get the change to properly meet. Lucifer wasn't interested in this humanity... except for this one._

_God's frown deepened. "That's one of the younger souls. It will still be thousands of years," he replied._

_Even if he wanted to, Lucifer couldn't ignore the disappointment he felt. He forced it down and looked back at the soul who was still floating before him. Lucifer thought it was the most beautiful being he had ever seen._

_"I like this one," he said, mind set. He would find a way for them to meet, one way or another, and then he would protect his human. They were bound together, in ways he couldn't even begin to understand. And he decided he wouldn't have it any other way._

\+ +

It felt weird when Nick left Lucifer's memories and was back to his own thoughts. His mind was racing as he tried to understand what he saw. "Was that... me?" He asked, baffled. When he went back to himself, he saw a few more memories flash past - of Lucifer, in the Cage, holding on to the knowledge that they would get to meet each other once he got out. Because of him, Lucifer didn't lose his mind.

 _Did Lucifer just show him the creation of humanity? Of... himself_?

"Yes," Lucifer replied softly. "That was you, shortly after your soul was created all those thousands of years ago."

"How disappointed you must be then. To see who I am now," Nick said bitterly.

"I am not disappointed, Nick," Lucifer firmly said, "I thought you were beautiful then. The most beautiful soul in that entire room. And I still think so now. We are bonded to each other."

Ever so slowly, Nick faced Lucifer's radiance. "The reason I left you so quickly for Sam was because I got scared... scared of how I felt and the depth of those feelings. I shouldn't have, but I did. And you are important to me. You always were, I just never found the word or courage to tell you," now it was Lucifer's time to ramble and for Nick to feel speechless, "you are _everything_ to me, Nick. And I am mostly just glad that we get to exist at the same time, and you didn't live and died during the time I was trapped in Hell. Because I couldn't have lived with that, knowing I had missed you."

Not knowing how to reply to that - especially not expecting it from Lucifer - Nick simply leaped forward and wrapped himself around the angel's grace the best he could. It was the closest he could come to a hug in his soul-form. "Who knew you were such a softie," he murmured.

"Only for you," was all Lucifer said.

And now, Nick finally understood. Why he always felt like such a nobody, why something was missing from his life and he always felt so lost. It was because Lucifer wasn't there. But now he was, and Nick had never felt so whole before in his entire life. "Thank you," he said, meaning it, "thank you for all you've done."


End file.
